endeavors with the wicked

friend - a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
true but what if that "friend" does not feel the same? what if all that you have done is merely just "appreciated" and your gestures are meaningless in that person's viewpoint? being nice is apparently insufficient in gaining a truly deep meaningful relationship with the people you care for.

friend - a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
if this is true, why does it seem that every time you helped out a "friend", you get the feeling that the person is only nice to you because you've helped them? why is it that certain "friends" only contact you when you are needed? why can't these "friends" call for a cup of coffee? or if they are busy shouldn't they make time?

friend - a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
how are lies being "good terms with another"? you can't deny that lying is part and parcel of a friendship. if lying and keeping secrets are what make good friends, then i'd have lots of good friends indeed.

sigh. what is a "friend" anyway? the definitions above from dictionary.com is definitely insufficient in describing the word. i used to be able to feel happy when i think about this word. lately though, i am slowly learning to take up on my words about being fireproof, to close out the vulnerable part of myself so that none can lay emotional control over it. sad. but this is growing up i guess.