Monday, March 23, 2009

m&m's + 551 + paper + paper + paper + paper = monday - friday

ostensibly, the above equation might appear to boggle the average mind but the truth is that it is very simple indeed. let me try to explain it in the simplest term so that the simplest of minds can understand such a simple non-mathematical equation.

m&m's refers to the small peanut-coated chocolate wonders that i, the technician drops three exact quarters of an american dollar into an automated vending machine to obtain on a daily basis. cavities may form on the calcium deposits of my gaping mouth for all i care, these tiny pieces of endorphin stimulants keep my stomach somehow satiated as i await patiently for the very much anticipated mid day meal. these are almost as addictive as coffee!

551 refers to the dreaded windowless dull working space of the validations department. my department. what is validations? validations is the practice of cutting down rainforests in brazil and indonesia. it is also the practice of making up excuses for the company to the FDA just because some harmless abundant-in-the-air microscopic life decided to proliferate on their precious medications. apparently, the ability to say that you are correct even when you are wrong is an ability that is much sought-after in the industry. FDA loves to hear these sugar-coated stories (much like the m&m's) so much so that they seem more like a child craving bedtime stories before they go to bed / approve a drug.

paper paper paper paper = tree. validations validations validations validations = chopped tree

all the above adds up to the following:

monday - friday, 7am-3.30pm (most of the time 9am-5.30pm because this pig can never seem to drag his ass of the bed at 6 in the morning).

there you have it.

that is what i do for 43 hours out of the 168 hours in a week.

my job.

Monday, March 16, 2009

the great ice mountains

more than a moon past, in the second month of 2009, on an auspiciously friday the 13th, a group of four excited hearts decided to dare the perilous trek to the north, for a few nights of cold and fun at the peak of the world.

the treacherous journey to the great ice mountains of tahoe began at a humble town near an expense of abodes aptly named "the village". the ride was powerful but the seatings were as tight as an uncomfortable spandex swimming trunk. that was the least of the problems for the brave adventurers that night for it took them no less than 8 hours to get to their desired snow-capped destination. on their way to the north, they encountered a myriad of other riders of the night who were either drunk, sleepy or reckless. despite the dangers of the road, they managed through the cold and the dark to reach their destination safely.

the destination, it seems was not the mountains yet for the rider had arranged before beginning the journey to sojourn at an acquaintance's cozy quarters. a pair of overly affable canines welcomed the travelers with open arms (or paws) as they arrived late past midnight. their owner was no less friendly as she stayed up awaiting our arrival. the homely abode was decorated with hunter trophies and weapons of hunting and comfortable warm beds for the night.

as dawn approached, the exhausted travelers made an effort to awaken after which they got into their transport for another half hour of ride to the rich town of heavenly. rumor has it that this locality is one of the best spot for the hazardous sport of snowboarding in all of the western continent. with a quick visit to the local board-smith, the party of four manage to obtain / rent the required equipment for the anticipated game at the top of the mountain.

trudging along the snow with heavy boarding gear and even heavier clothing as protection from the elements, the adventurers took the mechanical gondolas up to the ice peaks. in the hanging gondolas, they managed to capture the moment with the tahoe lake as the gorgeous background scenery. such was the reward for braving the arduous 8-hour journey.

as they reached the top of the mountains, they began to strap the boards to their little unaccustomed legs and walked awkwardly to the edge of the slope. three out of the four in the party had never before flung themselves literally down the hill while being strapped to a board the length almost as tall as they were. terror and panic risen up at that very moment but quickly overwhelmed by prudence and frugality as each of them has paid at least a hundred in monetary credits to obtain this experience. wasting no time, they hastily pushed their boards (along with their legs) down the declivity. as a virgin experience, the snowboarders fell several times (sometimes head over heels) as they swoop down on the slope with the wind fast blowing across their faces. an experience to savor indeed.

with three more trips up and down, the final one up the steeper more advanced slope, the travelers finally decided they were too tired (and too sore) to do anymore snowboarding. walking back to the mechanical gondola, the cold slowly crept in and reached each of their spines as the excitement and warmth of driving the body to strenuous snowboarding fades away. the shivers were never-ending so they settled on getting a cup of hot coffee at the local tavern called "starbucks". night arrived and one of them suggested that they should visit the town theater for entertainment. as it turned out, the show was played out by famous beautiful (and wealthy) people and it was played out surprisingly well too. entertained but starved, the travelers rode down the road for a quick dinner at a chicken roastery called KFC before returning to their night sanctuary.

at the stroke of 9am the following morning, the sleepers awaken to the drooling dribble of the hosts' pets. after washing up, they rode up the mountain again to the lake they saw the day before on the mechanical gondola. taking a walk down the pier while braving the harsh cold they managed to capture pictures of the sceneries around them. satisfied with the memories they have captured, they strolled down the beach to a spot where other great adventurers with their families took to the other icy sport of sledding. a bumpy but nevertheless a fun game, the travelers were soon racing each other down the beach with the sleds. when midday approached, they were in for another experience of a lifetime as down the road was where they had the best mexican lunch their naive tongues have ever tasted. satisfying to the tummy, the taste buds and the wallet, one of the travelers pledged to return if he ever comes back to this icy wonderland.


with bloated stomachs, they decided to again undertake the long journey home. on the way however, the rider spotted a stream along the icy roads and suggested to the passengers that they should stop to taste the freshness of the waters and to capture more pictures for the last time before leaving. they agreed and took off towards the river. cupping their frozen hands, they scooped up the water and slowly tilted it towards their open mouths.

the water from the stream was a gift from heaven.

the water from the stream was as fresh as the freshest of the green days of spring after a heavy shower of rain.

the water from the stream was as sweet as the sweetest orange juice.

it was cold and refreshing. one of the travelers suggested that bear poop might have caused such sweetness in the water and the freshness may have come from the bear's urine. before returning to their ride, they stopped for a short snowball fight. it was fought with such ferocity and intensity as if their lives depended on it but it was quickly ended with the cold reaching deep within their double, triple-layered clothing.

the adventure ended as rapidly as the snowball fight had begun and ended. it was the perfect experience and one of the best journeys the travelers had ever taken.